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rosaenaluin 65F
9837 posts
9/20/2018 1:49 pm
my expectation


This could very well be the bottle neck!

My expectation......
When i meet a socalled "dominant", i expect from him initiative.
I expect some planning from him....
I expect he has some kind of plan...
i expect respect. decent behaviour, human interest.

were to go to,
what to do,
When the contact is really good, when the both of them have some real genuine fun.
as human beings...

I expect that from a Dominant by character, man.

Untill now, i only meet men...... well... who were just into the sexual game playing

Did not show some genuine interest in mé,
only in my fetishes....

That is a very short conversation
because for me, it is NOT about the fetishes.

For me, it is about trust, the connection the understanding of the others whole being, being submissive,
being on the same page, concerning the way you want to shape the whole relation...
Yes, the big scary R word!!!!

So far, i just have met some sex role play fantasy, fetish players

That has nothing to do with how i want to experience his dominance
in a daily contact in all his actions, thoughts,
In every part of his being.

One other thing, when at munches..
meeting new people.....
I find it very offensive, when some totall stranger walks up to me
and start asking all kind of intimate information about my likes and non like?

Why does this person thinks he has the right to ask me that?

did i have some sort of understanding with this man, before?

it makes me want to puke all over such person!
he pressume because I am on this munch,
that gives him the right to demand all kind of personal info.

i dont even know this mans real name!
That is part of my dislike of munches

Because SWINGERS, who also visit munches, do have a whole other set of believe system, morals, ethics... in general.

they think they can behave as if they are at some swingers party...
on a BDSM munch.

In my perception, those two things dont mix well.

I only want some decent conversation, getting the chance to get to know that other person, as a person.

NOT as some FETISH DELIVERY SYSTEM, not as what he can do mé, ego game.

Most munches i have been to, are of a very low ethical niveau...
it is like everybody is doing, or want to do everybody.. kind of atmosphere.

juveniel sexual behaviour, giggling, making all kind of sexual innuendo 'jokes'.
like a class of 16 years old, watching porn for the first time, together...

But, i keep going to all kind of munches every were in Holland....
no matter how boring they are....

This other munch i have been to, there was this young woman, sitting at the terrace,
around here were all man cheering her on; Do it, Do it, Do It.....
she was all giggly giggly...
all of the sudden she is showing her vigigi there on that terrace, to people on the street,
in the middle of a part of town were there are little childeren on the street playing....

In a part of town were there are alot of non European people living....

How you mean?: SAFE, SANE AND CONSEUAL,?

i think that is disgusting stupid dangerous behaviour, no sense of responsibilty at all,
not that young woman, and for sure not those horny dogs of men....
All "dominants" ofcourse! amp;

Bút it is all ever sooo funny NOT. giggly, giggly.....

I have organised Munches myself.. no difference.

all sex players, or swingers? i dont know...
all the same juveniel sexual innuendo bad "jokes"...

My only expectation is a decent conversation....
with a somewhat intelligent decent man.....
who is genuine interested in mé.

i dont think that are very high expectations, dont you think?

rosaenaluin 65F
10779 posts
9/20/2018 1:59 pm

It is too bad, that the whole mental part of BDSM, the whole core about surrender by heart,

instead by fetishlist, as long as the scene takes....

is totally wasted on those players...

It is too bad, the majority is all about the physcial actions, the bucketlist bdsm,
and not the mental connection....

How long does that takes, before that too wears down...? wears out....?
How many fetishes can you play out? act on?
Before that too, becomes a bore..?

Just some mechanical actions....
The - Do-Me "doms" & the Do-Me subs.


rosaenaluin 65F
10779 posts
9/21/2018 12:52 am

Exhibitibi,
Most munches in Holland, that i know off, are strictly vanilla dress and behaviour code.

Non have a theme, some have boardgames as a activity....

That does not stop such rude behaviour, there is no way a munch'master'... is able to check up on such rude behaviour.....

Maybe i am too sensitive to such rude behaviour, i dont expect such behaviour
at a BDSM munch....
To me, BDSM, is all about respect.....

On any social meeting, you first introduce yourself, have some decent conversation about all and everything, try to find some common ground...
other then wanting sex.. i thought...

I have been told, many time again, I could never be a submissive, because i take the initiative in any contact, i look them in the eye, when talking, that is something my mommy and daddy told me....

i am a very outgoing person, i like people, most of the times!

Thank you for your reaction,


rosaenaluin 65F
10779 posts
9/21/2018 12:54 am

Thanks, Vlad,

i just needed that!



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