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benoite 104F
6238 posts
9/15/2018 2:19 pm

It's incredibly hard to explain.
Pain itself isn't pleasurable for me either!
I'll try to write a post on the topic.
B


Everything in the world is about sex, except sex, sex is about power. - Oscar Wilde


MissLadywood 51F
6195 posts
9/15/2018 2:25 pm

Expecting someone to understand on just an intellectual level isn't possible in my opinion.
A masochist explaining that euphoric feeling from pain to a submissive is certainly possible because we can relate to it. We go into a simliar, if not the same state, it's just we get there a different way.

If any of us had to explain it to someone that is vanilla we would have to do it in a way that they could relate to, drawing on experiences they may have had that create a similar feeling.

It's why the blogs and making friends of the same ilk continues to be popular.
Because although words do not do justice to what we do and how it makes us feel, they don't really have to because we know that some will just 'get it'. We can relate to each other. And that is a wonderful thing when most people in our lives can't.

Life So Short, The Craft So Long To Learn


maletramp 64M
2092 posts
9/15/2018 2:57 pm

Understanding the limbic system and "limbic resonance" is a great step toward answering this question.. The further you delve into it, the more you will realize how each person has a unique limbic system; Experiences through life impact it and your experiences with each individual person you meet in life gives you a unique limbic resonance with that person versus all other people..

As an anaology: tell 1 joke to a group of 20 people.. Each person will have a different reaction to that one experience, based on their own experience in life coming into that moment that the joke is told.. Even if you assume two are identical twins in every way, one may come into the meeting in a good mood and the other not; Or, one may like the joke teller and the other not.. As a result, when you have them rate the joke on a scale of 1 to 100, the chances are no one rates the exact same joke with the same score..

Depending on my own state of "arousal" an act that might be pure pain if I am in one state, might be pleasure in another and extremely erotic in third..

How did humiliation get involved in sexuality? Yet, when you see the vast array of emotions that are governed by the limbic system you see how they can all become part of the palette of colors that enter into each of your "emotions" that are really never a single emotion but rather is a mixture of numerous emotions and each of those emotions is unique to yourself based on how your limbic system has responded to prior similar emotions; The chemical equations in each person will never be the same because the prior chemical reactions were unique when they were building the system..


drmgirl622 68F  
25821 posts
9/15/2018 2:57 pm

Pain just for the sake of pain is not something i relish or care for......that pain must be accompanied with the pleasure the pain elicits. Masochism is not something you can explain......it just is.


McGripper 54M

9/15/2018 4:01 pm

No, no it isn't possible and that is a good thing!


The opinions and understanding portrayed in my blog are mainly unfounded, misguided or wrong.


aliljaded 53F
8822 posts
9/16/2018 1:41 am

it's possible but incredibly difficult.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


slaaf85_91 61M
447 posts
9/16/2018 3:01 am

I experimented with self torture since I became sexually active, I suspended myself to feel the pain of the ropes, I pierced my own nipples with heated needles, I went naked into stinging nettle fields etc... it help me to enjoy masturbating.

I was 22 before I shared this with others. I discovered that my masochist need for pain satisfied the sadism in other men who got sexually aroused by the seeing the effect of pain and their torture on my body as a long foreplay. The pain and suffering brought me as masochist in a kind of trance, willing to be sexually used while the satisfaction of sadism culminated in rather brutal and rough sex which I gently underwent. The feeling of being sexually used gives me my sexual satisfaction.

Being different from the majority of people as homosexual my pleasure is in being used by others...


DancingDom 74M
22445 posts
9/16/2018 7:25 am

They can never fully understand and you can't fully explain what it does to you. It is your experience and it is unique to you. Having said that, the best way to explain to someone who is not into pain are two examples. First, most people know that long distance runners experience "runners high" that lets them continue to rjn the race. secondly, and a more common example is getting your back massaged/scratched. The bodies pain and pleasure receptors in our nervous system are one and the same. Getting a hard massage or back scratch is theoretically pain but in the end an "itch' is addressed and we find pleasure in it.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


Doc_Sonar 66M
24589 posts
9/16/2018 9:18 am

Yes, sub, thorny question - and I confess I don't know. Empathy would be helpful, I think. Still, what have YOU concluded?
Appreciate ya!

BD~
P

Doc_Sonar

I advocate Simplicity, Patience & Compassion...to the extent that doing so won't threaten or harm My boundaries or Me. ~ Doc_Sonar


Breathe Deeply~
Peace


jenny14 75T  
90057 posts
9/16/2018 11:39 am

sub

Your last line is so true! To truly understand and / or appreciate it, we must experience it ourselves!


A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


brandygirasol 54T
9346 posts
9/17/2018 11:50 am

Nothing much to say except... OUCH



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