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Oranges and lemons 9/10/2019
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot..........................
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
................... a carrot.
0 Commentaires, 8 Consultations,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
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looking at you 5/10/2019
looking for a woman here can be very hard because all they
want is what they prefer there wants most of the ladies
here don;t even realize that they are way off on there wants
there nothing here that is perfect you want all that tell
we see your picture and we see that your fucking joking ladies
wake up this is not fantasy world your not everything you
though you where believe most men here at ...
0 Commentaires, 16 Consultations,
9 Votes
,1.29 Score
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dirty 3/10/2019
meeting new mature woman is a joke because some are sooo
serious and some are soo picky come on you are too picky your
mature you dont have the same when you where soooo
quit being sooo picky
0 Commentaires, 15 Consultations,
9 Votes
,0.86 Score
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what did the cock say ... ? 26/8/2019
what did the cock say to the pussy? <br><br>
why, 'yes', of course! 
0 Commentaires, 24 Consultations,
16 Votes
,1.66 Score
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Knock Knock 19/6/2019
whos there ?
3 Commentaires, 26 Consultations,
11 Votes
,0.92 Score
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I always laugth on this 9/1/2019
This reminds me, when i was tied up by the first time, and
suddenly I had to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't
6 Commentaires, 118 Consultations,
22 Votes
,6.37 Score
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ER Visit 31/12/2018
A man goes into the ER complaining of anal pain. The doctor
orders x-rays to see what's going on. When reviewing
the x-rays they notice 3 plastic heads inside the
man's ass. The nurse looks at the doctor and says...
<br><br>
"Doctor, will he be alright?" <br><br>
The doctor replies.... <br><br>
"Don't worry nurse he's ...
1 Commentaires, 28 Consultations,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Tattoo 30/7/2018
A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him
as a basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually,
go back to his place. They start to kiss, and the man takes
off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK.
'What's that?' the lady questions. 'Oh, I have this so that when I'm on TV, people will
see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me.' ...
3 Commentaires, 81 Consultations,
15 Votes
,4.82 Score
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Get well soon! 27/7/2018
A traffic cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed
appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well;
however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs
in his crotch. <br><br>
Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors
hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital
gown up enough so he could look at ...
4 Commentaires, 92 Consultations,
13 Votes
,4.65 Score
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Files Her Tax Return 27/7/2018
A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells
him that she needs to file her taxes. <br><br>
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll
need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address,
social security number, and then asks, "What is your
occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm
a ." The accountant balks and says, "No,
no, no. ...
7 Commentaires, 105 Consultations,
16 Votes
,4.74 Score
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Born When? 24/7/2018
I was chatting to this girl in the pub last night and told
her of my uncanny ability to be able to tell the day any woman
was born, simply by holding their breasts in my hands. <br><br>
She thought I was having her on but was nonetheless very
curious. <br><br>
Eventually curiosity got the better of her and she said
“Oh go-on then, give it a go!” <br><br>
I ...
3 Commentaires, 58 Consultations,
10 Votes
,3.39 Score
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The Silent Treatment 23/7/2018
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the
man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake
him at 5:00am for an early morning business flight. Not
wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00am"
and left it where he knew she would find ...
0 Commentaires, 49 Consultations,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Confession 20/7/2018
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini,
Italy, went to the local church for confession. <br><br>
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional,
The man said: 'Father ... During World War II, a beautiful
Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to
hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.' ...
2 Commentaires, 49 Consultations,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Getting The Most Out Of Counselling 15/7/2018
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant
arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way
to save their marriage was to try counselling. They had
been at each other's throat for some time and felt that
this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the
counsellor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.
"What seems to be ...
2 Commentaires, 38 Consultations,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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The King And The Counts 15/7/2018
A King ordered the heads of several of his counts chopped
off because they refused to reveal where they had buried
their treasures. As the axes began to fall, one count decided
to change his mind, but it was too late. Moral: Don't
hatchet your counts before they chicken. !"
0 Commentaires, 24 Consultations,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Small get together 12/7/2018
: There will be a small gathering in the school tomorrow. Please come.
Dad: What do you mean? Who will be there?
: Only you, me, and the school principal.
3 Commentaires, 116 Consultations,
12 Votes
,3.33 Score
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All idiot 12/7/2018
Teacher: All idiots stand up.
A boy stands up.
Teacher: So you are an idiot?
Boy: No. I can’t bear your standing alone Sir.
3 Commentaires, 92 Consultations,
10 Votes
,5.18 Score
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THE HORTH WITHPERER 12/7/2018
Bob calls his buddy Sam, the rancher, and says he's
sending a friend over to look at a . Sam asks "How
will I recognize him?" "That's easy, he's a midget with a speech
impediment." So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking
for a male or female . "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith lookin horth. Can I ...
2 Commentaires, 39 Consultations,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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The Golfer and the Leprechaun. 12/7/2018
An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive
into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun
flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's
ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle
from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving
him. "Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked.
"I'm afraid I hit you ...
1 Commentaires, 37 Consultations,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
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My First Time 9/7/2018
It was my first time ever And I'll never forget I'd do it again Without a single regret. <br><br>
The sky was dark The moon was high We were all alone Just she and I. <br><br>
Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do. <br><br>
Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine. <br><br>
I ...
3 Commentaires, 35 Consultations,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Blonde Painting 9/7/2018
One day a blonde comes out of the tanning salon. She wants
to make some money so she goes to one of the rich neighborhoods.
She rings the door bell and says, "HI, is there anything I could do for
your house or you???" <br><br>
The man thinks and says, "Sure, can paint my porch.
You will find all the stuff in the garage." <br><br>
The girl says, ...
2 Commentaires, 37 Consultations,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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A Drunk 28/6/2018
A drunk walks out of a bar with akey in his hand and he is stumbling
back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help
you Sir?' 'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr', the man
replies. The cop asks, 'Where was your car the last time you saw
it?' 'It wasss on the end of thisshh key', the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down ...
1 Commentaires, 38 Consultations,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score
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Organist 28/6/2018
A small church had a very attractive big- busted organist
and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled
while she played the organ. <br><br>
Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation. The
very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something
had to be done about this or they would have to get another
organist. <br><br>
<br><br>
So, one ...
1 Commentaires, 47 Consultations,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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Finally a sensitive man 12/6/2018
A woman meets a good-looking man in a bar. They talk, they
connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his
apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely
packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There ! are
three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds
of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering
the ...
1 Commentaires, 48 Consultations,
12 Votes
,5.98 Score
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"I’ve outlived my dick." A Poem - by Willie Nelson 6/6/2018
My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my pride and joy, Is now my water spout. <br><br>
Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I've got a full time job, To find the friggin thing. <br><br>
It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave. For every single morning, It would stand and watch me shave. ...
0 Commentaires, 26 Consultations,
9 Votes
,5.99 Score
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Senior Surgery 4/6/2018
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his , a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his . 'Yes, dad, what is it?' 'Don't be nervous, ; Do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and ...
0 Commentaires, 36 Consultations,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score
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AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE 4/6/2018
An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice.
The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty
days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty
pounds. <br><br>
The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after
thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed
lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and
thanked him for ...
1 Commentaires, 41 Consultations,
14 Votes
,3.94 Score
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Honesty 4/6/2018
A girl says to her mother "I know where babies come
from Mummy. Sarah told me." Her mother replied "And where is that, dear?"
The girl says "She said that you put Daddy's thing
in your mouth, and stuff comes out, and goes in your belly
and that's where babies grow." Her mother corrected her "No dear, that's where
jewelry comes from."
1 Commentaires, 28 Consultations,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
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My Travel Plans for 2018-2019 4/6/2018
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots
with someone. <br><br>
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes
you there. <br><br>
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport;
you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there,
thanks to my , ...
1 Commentaires, 23 Consultations,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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Holiday Present 28/5/2018
Bob's wife is going off to Paris for a long weekend with
her girlfriends. As he drives her to the airport, she says
to him: <br><br>
"Is there anything you'd like me to bring you
back from Paris?" <br><br>
Bob thinks about it for a while, and then jokes, "How
about you bring me back a cute little French girl?"
<br><br>
Bob's wife ...
1 Commentaires, 39 Consultations,
11 Votes
,4.29 Score
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