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Affair 9/24/2003
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her
husband is having
an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The
next day she
comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs
the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out
of bed,
begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically
the
blonde responds to ...
1 Comments,
68 Views,
41 Votes
,7.00 Score
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Elderly Couple 9/24/2003
An elderly couple was driving cross-country, the woman
was driving.
She gets pulled over by the highway patrol.
<br>
The officer said, "ma'am did you know you were
speeding?"
<br>
The woman turns to her husband and asks "What did he
say?"
The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."
<br>
The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"
<br> ...
0 Comments,
52 Views,
42 Votes
,7.93 Score
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Iron Man Contest 9/24/2003
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender how he could
win the iron
man contest that the bartender was having. The bartender
said to the
man “First you have to knock the lights out of that biker
sitting over
there. Then you have to get the Pit bulls sore tooth out that's
sitting
out in that ally next door. Then there's a Grandma upstairs
who hasn't
had sex in a long ...
0 Comments,
52 Views,
34 Votes
,7.46 Score
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never trust a leprechaun 9/23/2003
Paddy is riding his through the woods and spies a wee
leprechaun in distress. He quickly jumps off of his
and offers the leprechaun a wee dram. For helping a wee leprechaun,
you can have two wishes , but they wont come true until the
morning. Paddy thinks for a moment and says 'I've
always wanted to look like robert redford' and if I
look like robert redford, 'I'd like what me
has ...
0 Comments,
72 Views,
22 Votes
,2.41 Score
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When a Man Lies...... 9/16/2003
... when a man lies ....
<br>
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree
above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried
out, an angel appeared and asked "Why are you crying?"
The woodcutter replied that his axe had fallen into the
water, and he needed it to make his living.
<br>
The angel went down into the water and reappeared with a
golden ...
0 Comments,
59 Views,
49 Votes
,7.86 Score
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HOBO 8/18/2003
What's the differance between a hobo and a homo? A hobo
doesn't have very many friends, and a homo has friends
up the ass.
0 Comments,
42 Views,
24 Votes
,4.27 Score
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Marooned 2 8/10/2003
3 men and a woman are marooned on an island. After two weeks
the woman is so ashamed at what she's been doing she
kills herself. After 2 more weeks the men are so ashamed
at what they have been doing they bury here. After two more
weeks they are so ashamed at what they have been doing they
dig her back up again.
0 Comments,
47 Views,
39 Votes
,4.30 Score
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You believe that shit? 7/28/2003
A couple has anal sex for the first time. After the man
ejaculates, two of the sperms are talking. One sperm says
to the other; HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND AN EGG IN ALL
THIS SHIT??????
0 Comments,
43 Views,
43 Votes
,4.44 Score
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terrorist women 7/27/2003
why terrorist womens never wear tampax tampon?
<br>
because all her terrorist friends is always trying to light
the fuse (dynamite fuse) terrorist get it?
0 Comments,
43 Views,
59 Votes
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Marooned 6/26/2003
A man was the only survivor of a shipwreck. He washed up on
a desert island where he remained for 10 years living off
coconuts and fish he could catch from the ocean. One day
he looks out on the beach and a beautiful blond in a skin tight
wetsuit is emerging out of the water. He thinks he must be
halucinating. He rubs his eyes and pinches himself, but
here she comes straight for him. She ...
0 Comments,
227 Views,
98 Votes
,7.79 Score
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A motorist was mailed a picture .. 5/29/2003
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through
an automated radar post. A $40 speeding ticket was included.
<br>
Being cute, he sent the police department .. a picture of
two 20 dollar bills ..
<br>
A few days later he got another picture in the mail .. this
one was of some handcuffs ...
0 Comments,
88 Views,
77 Votes
,4.04 Score
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What's the difference 5/27/2003
Q. What's the difference between Love, True Love and
Showing off?
A. Spit, Swallow and Gargle
0 Comments,
30 Views,
68 Votes
,6.16 Score
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got a cigarette? 5/17/2003
Does anyone know why vampires NEVER, EVER smoke?
They just can't handle the coffin fits!
1 Comments,
86 Views,
66 Votes
,0.47 Score
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God is not a woman 5/6/2003
How do we know God is not a woman?
If God was a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.
0 Comments,
29 Views,
116 Votes
,7.07 Score
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How do you Confuse a Anthropologist.? 5/1/2003
Give them a used tampon & ask them what period it come
from !!!
0 Comments,
39 Views,
64 Votes
,5.10 Score
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Pet store 4/30/2003
I was working my way through college at a pet store on commission.
One day an obviously wealthy matron came to the pet store
looking for a unique gift. So I told her about a rare African
frog that had just come in.
<br>
"This frog" I told her "has a seven inch
tongue, and I have been training the frog to perform cunnilingus."
She seemed suspicious, so I continued. "If for any ...
0 Comments,
58 Views,
43 Votes
,6.26 Score
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Eskimos and Miniskirts 4/12/2003
Do you know why Eskimo women don't wear miniskirts?
Because, if they do, they get cracked lips...
0 Comments,
25 Views,
61 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Anatomical Differences 4/12/2003
Why do men think more and women talk more?
Because men have two heads while women have three pairs
of lips...
0 Comments,
174 Views,
35 Votes
,3.77 Score
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It is difficult for a short man to have intercourse with a Texas woman. 3/24/2003
Because when they are nose to nose, his toes are in it.
And when they are toes to toes, his nose is in it.
And when He is in it, he doesn't have anyone to talk to.
0 Comments,
58 Views,
34 Votes
,1.35 Score
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At the barbershop 11/12/2002
A man comes into the barbershop with his , and sits
in the chair to get his hair cut. His little girl is eating
a muffin, and stands right next to the chair while the barber
starts cutting his hair.
"Little girl, " the barber says smiling at the girl, "you're
gonna get hair all over your muffin." Ï know, " she replies,
"I'm gonna get titties too!"
0 Comments,
56 Views,
73 Votes
,7.34 Score
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Doms favorite place to eat. 7/20/2002
Where is a Dom`s favorite place to eat? SUBWAY
0 Comments,
52 Views,
75 Votes
,3.37 Score
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Indecent 3/27/2002
At the family table the Johnsons were discussing various
forms of indecency and just how crude the world has become.
Sue being the teenage of the family and just beginning
her own sexual explorations went to her friends to get their
opinions. All their views seemed quite normal and paralleled
her own until she asked Tyrone what he though was indecent.
Tyrone smiled and replied, " Baby when ...
0 Comments,
87 Views,
76 Votes
,0.93 Score
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Michael Jackson 3/21/2002
Did you hear that Michael Jackson was an usher at Liza Minelli's
wedding? It seemed only fair to include him since I hear he was dating
the ring bearer.
0 Comments,
38 Views,
92 Votes
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Thinking Quick 2/18/2002
A man gets on a plane for a coast to coast trip and while waiting
for the plane to take off, A tall beautiful woman comes down
the isle and starts to take the seat next to him. The man thinks
to himself that he is lucky to have such a woman sitting next
to him and decides to try and get friendly. He asks " business
or pleasure" and she responds that she is going to California
for a national ...
0 Comments,
102 Views,
82 Votes
,6.20 Score
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The worst disease 1/5/2002
A man and woman were in their hotel room on their wedding
night. The woman, already in be, watche as the man began
to disrobe. When he pulled down his pants, the bride saw
that there was something wrong with his knees. They were
wrinkled and concave. She asked him what was wrong with
them. <br>
"When I was a little boy, I got the neasles."
<br>
She said, "You must mean ...
0 Comments,
83 Views,
35 Votes
,5.88 Score
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Best Joke Ever! 8/28/2001
One time a husband and wife were driving along and they were
in a terrible accident. The husband was not seriously injured,
but his wife was put into a coma. She remained in the coma
for a year with absolutely no response. However, one day
a nurse was giving her a sponge bath and as she massaged between
her legs with the sponge, the woman let out a slight moan.
The nurse was simply ...
0 Comments,
211 Views,
82 Votes
,4.28 Score
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Dirty Slogan Contest 3/23/2001
A guy heard about a dirty slogan contest sponsored by a local
radio station. He mentioned it to his friends who encouraged
him to enter the contest. He decided to enter and spent some
time coming up with the filthiest slogan he could think
of. He sent it in and waited several weeks for a response.
Finally, he received an official letter in the mail that
said he won second prize and ...
0 Comments,
97 Views,
15 Votes
,3.44 Score
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Spanish Restaurant 2/3/2001
A tourist in spain goes to a restaurant. He cannot read the
menu but sees another customer's dish which has two huge
meat balls with assorted vegetables on the sides. The dish
looks very delicious and he points to it and says I want that.
The waiter explains to him in sign language that that is
a special dish & he has to order it one week in advance. So
he agrees and orders the dish and ...
0 Comments,
120 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
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The Elderly Couple 1/15/2000
An elderly couple went to a doctor and told him they wanted
him to watch them making love. The woman said, "we're getting
on in years, our memories aren't so good, we want to make
sure we're still doing it right." <br>
<br>
<br>
The doctor was a bit puzzled by this, but he agreed. So they
went into his examining room, and he watched them make love.
And he continued to ...
0 Comments,
154 Views,
51 Votes
,9.03 Score
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